6 months into deployment

I was just thinking the other night about how I haven't posted anything on this blog for a LONG time, and in thinking, I really didn't believe I had much to post about. However, last night I received an email from my dad's CSM (Commander Sergeant Major) stating that the unit my dad is in (143 D ESC) is officially 6 months in to their deployment. I was almost shocked as I read this. I couldn't believe that it had actually been 6 months since my dad left the country. The picture here was taken on the last day I saw him, January 10th, in Orlando as he and his unit were preparing for departure. Life has surely been harder with him gone. Far gone have been the days of calling him whenever I had a bad day and just needed him to talk to. Postponed is the opportunity to spend a nice evening with him sitting and talking about life, problems, successes , and dreams for the future. And only in memory are those instances of crying on his shoulder. Don't get me wrong, not every day with my dad is a pleasant one. I don't miss the arguments or experiencing the differences in opinion we have. However, even though I hate those times, I cherish both the good and bad because they let me know that he's still here. We've definitely had our ups and downs throughout the years, but the past few years have been incredible for us. I miss him terribly, and some days it's so much that I can't hold back the tears. Other days are fine, and I feel like he's just on a long vacation...but then reality sets in. I am very thankful for my dad and for his sacrifice to rejoin the military at a late age in his career and offer to serve this country. I am actually thankful for this experience because it has challenged me, and it has helped us grow closer as a family. I am also thankful for the success that my dad has had, because it's given him a great confidence and much needed sense of accomplishment. However, I can't wait for his return. I cherish him more than ever, and can't wait to just sit and talk with him in person and not for 20 minutes over a distant telephone.

Thank you to those who have been incredibly supportive during this time. I know having a parent overseas at my age is nothing compared to having a spouse deployed, but nonetheless it is still very difficult. I have needed friends more than ever during this time and God has definitely blessed me with great friends and great family. I pray that this continues through the rest of my dad's deployment and beyond and I continue to pray for his (and his unit's) safe return as I also hope you will do.

"http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=32337338&l=21ca07657b&id=41800124"

The Last Lecture

I haven't written in a while due to the whirlwind of exams and practicals that came and went last week. I've had a week off, and for once, it's been incredibly relaxing. In a mere seven days I went home, visited my sister and parents, attended the National Peanut Festival with them, returned to Birmingham, read Nights In Rodanthe, went bowling Friday night, watched football Saturday, organized my PT school notes from the past two years into a filing cabinet, and today...I went to Starbuck's, had a cup of Peppermint mocha, and read The Last Lecture. I've imagined having a week like this for a long time, and I was glad to see it become reality. It may not be exciting for many, but I'm growing to appreciate opportunities to relax momentarily.
For those of you who haven't read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, I highly suggest it. It was a good, thought-provoking book full of tidbits of advice written by a man dying of pancreatic cancer. A college professor, Pausch gave a final lecture at the university where he was a professor, Carnegie Mellon. The lecture was a venture through his life, with pieces of knowledge he gained along the way from people who impacted his life. Chapters like "Never Give Up" and "Sometimes All You Have to Do Is Ask" are just a few of the examples of things he wanted his students, and his children to learn and apply to their lives. A few things about this book struck me. First and foremost, I was a bit taken back that the book had no spiritual reference, no reference to how he had grown spiritually or how God had used this disease to affect his life. That struck me as odd because I think that's the thing that I would be discussing most, whether it be my anger, my struggle, or my faith, I would think that those things would be at the forefront of my mind as I prepared to proceed into my eternity. I really was a bit let down that he didn't discuss these things even though he said the reason he didn't was because he wanted to impart knowledge that would be beneficial to people of all religions. I still think people of other religions could've benefited, but who am I to say anything. I haven't battled a terminal illness, so I can't describe what I would feel or want people to know. I have suddenly lost my second point...guess my brain is a bit ahead of me.
This book did make me think, yet again, about my future career. Pausch was a professor, and hearing him tell tales from his days as a professor made me once again question if that may be something I might want to do eventually. Just a thought...who knows if it will really happen. I did learn from this book to be earnest in pursuing my dreams. So many times I've settled because I've been afraid of failure, I realize that living in fear of failure is failure itself and will get me nowhere. Nothing is accomplished by never trying. Anyway, enough of that rant. Here are a few quotes from the book that I particularly liked.

"People are more important than things. A car, even a pristine gem like my new convertible, was just a thing."

"The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They're there to stop the other people....Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to show how badly we want something."

"Failure is not just acceptable, it is often essential."

"I find the best shortcut is the long way, which is basically two words: hard work. As I see it, if you work more hours than somebody else, during those hours you learn about your craft. That can make you more efficient, more able, even happier. Hard work is like compounded interest in the bank. The rewards build faster."

Car Ride Conversations

The events of my travels to and from class and studying today were...indescribable. I know, it sounds uneventful, and to many it may seem that way, but I had an amazing experience traveling in my filthy car this morning (which by the way I am now embarrassed to even allow people next to it because it's so full of junk). Nonetheless, I really felt compelled/moved/burdened to listen to my Brook Hills worship cd on the way to UAB this morning, a cd that I buried in the closet months and months ago. So anyway, I got it out and put it in my cd player. As I was driving past the pond that is located at the front of my apartment complex, I noticed that like steam off a boiling pot, the fog was lifting off the pond as morning rays of sunshine bounced on the dark, glassy water. It was in that moment, looking at that glorious scene, that I heard the words of this song: "Hallelujah, Hallelujah, how awesome is the Lord most high. Lift your hands all you nations, Shout to God all Creation, How awesome is the Lord most high."
To say I was moved would be an understatement. It was incredible to see a glimpse, a mere speck, of his glory. I think so often I take those things for granted. I remember as a kid, riding to and from the mountains with my grandparents, listening to DC Talk's "Mind's Eye" and basking in the details of the trees and hillsides as we drove by. And I would think to myself, "man this is awesome. God's creation is so incredible, how can you look at the trees, at a single leaf, and not believe." So many times now, I look at those same things, and I miss it. I miss the beauty, the awe and wonder of God's creation. I miss the wonder of who He is too often, and it saddens me.
Today made me hopeful however. I'll admit that I have waivered. My faith has waivered. My life isn't picture perfect, and if you know me, you know that's definitely true. However, I do know that my heart is spoken for and the mere scenery and events that transpired this morning confirmed the verse from John 10:28-29 that states, "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand."

Starting Up

I've been keeping up with a few of my friends' blogs, and figured it was about time to start my own. 11:45 pm on a Sunday night, with finals coming up in the next week is probably not the best time to start blogging, but though my body is exhausted, my mind just won't stop running and therefore, it's lie in my bed and wrestle them, or sit here and write. So many of my friends who write on these things are incredibly eloquent and colorful, making words jump out from the screen and really engage the reader. I however, apologize in advance for my posts. I believe that they will probably be the opposite...more dry than colorful, more boring than engaging, and probably more redundant than anything. However, with that said, I hope to use this blog to update you on the happenings in my life and to stay in touch with those friends that are far away and who I don't get to talk to often enough.
Nonetheless, it's now 11:53 pm, and I must start heading towards the bed. 6 am and an 8 hour day filled with group presentations comes way too soon.